A Friend of the Earth

I totally understand that our friends, the rats, are beginning to feel cold at this time of the year, and prefer our cozy roof to the outdoors which can be rather nippy at night. Our brothers and sisters, the rats, are basically squirrels with a tiny bit of fur missing on their tails. They are amazingly beautiful creatures, with strong social bonds and high intelligence; also, they have awesome whiskers. Like us, they are children of Mother Earth, and we should aspire to living in harmony with them and their close-knit communities, treasuring their relationship to the natural environment, their age-old tribal traditions and their understanding of sun, moon and the seasons.

However, if those jerks don’t stop using the attic above our bedroom as their toilet-spot, I’M GOING UP THERE WITH A BASEBALL BAT, A MACHETE, A SAWED-OFF SHOTGUN, A CAN OF GASOLINE, A BLOW TORCH, A JAR OF NAPALM, AND A FUCKING AIR CARRIER FULL OF NUCLEAR-MISSILE-LADEN FIGHTER JETS TO SHOW THEM HOW CIVILIZATION WORKS!!!!!!

P.S. Happy Caps Lock Day!

One Response to “A Friend of the Earth”

  1. ilse aus Minga Says:

    love the juxtaposition of understanding and justified rage, and the entirely illustrative use of caps lock. if it were my house I would go straight to the second para.


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