The Bible Guarantees It

As has been pointed out by Pastor Harold Camping on his radio show and on several informative and entertaining road signs next to Bay Area freeways , the world will end this Saturday, 6 p.m. We’re all going to die! Need some convincing of this fact? Here you go:

Lots of numbers in there, so I guess he must be right (also, Camping has an engineering degree from UC Berkeley – spotless academic credentials!). There’s hope for some of us, though:

“O then ye unbelieving, turn ye unto the Lord; cry mightily unto the Father in the name of Jesus, that perhaps ye may be found spotless, pure, fair, and white, having been cleansed by the blood of the Lamb, at that great and last day.” (Mormon 9:6)

According to this heathenish FAQ, I’ll probably not be counted among the “spotless, pure, fair and white”, but at least I’ll die a happy woman having tasted this year’s first white “Spring Snow” peaches…as the eternal hippie favorite Ecclesiastes puts it:

“To everything there is a season,
a time for every purpose under heaven.
A time to be born and a time to die;
a time to plant and a time to reap,
a time to laugh and a time to weep.”

(Watch out for the cute little girl at 1:15! I wonder what became of her when she grew up.)

3 Responses to “The Bible Guarantees It”

  1. Wolf Says:

    > I wonder what became of her when she grew up.

    Was Theologisches, wetten? Der Moderator erklärt noch Ecclesiasticus, und sie kennt schon den Text.

  2. ilse Says:

    was heißt hier Kollektivneurose?
    signed, defiant ex-hippy

  3. cohu Says:

    Die Kollektivneurose bezieht sich, frei nach Freud, eher auf die Evangelikalen als auf die Hippies, wobei, der Übergang ist fließend 😉
    An Weltuntergang gab es hier übrigens lediglich ein kleineres 3.9-er-Erdbeben, und sogar das kam ne Stunde verspätet, Samstagabend um Sieben. Hätte der Camping mal lieber auf Matthäus 25:13 gehört, da wird schon gewarnt: “Seid also wachsam! Denn Ihr wisst weder den Tag noch die Stunde.”

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