“Stay Warm & Snuggle up with your significant other. The Snuggie® Blanket keeps you totally warm and gives you the freedom to use your hands!” (Snuggie Couples)
I remember a time not long ago when “using your hands” during “snuggling” your “significant other” was exclusively done under/inside the blanket, and this was actually considered a feature, not a bug.
On second thought, maybe this is what the ominous THIRD SLEEVE is for. The picture of the smiling, interracial couple is just an innocent cover for how this thing is really meant to work. Much like this blonde showing off the many potential uses of her “personal massager” (you know you’ll click that link, eventually, so don’t try to resist it). Ewww.