It’s a good sign

Berkeley is full of people who have strong opinions, and thus, full of various types of signs. First off, if your car does not have an Obama sticker, it is understood that you’re either a) sceptical of Obama because he’s so moderate he’s basically a crypto-fascist or b) somewhat of a crypto-fascist yourself. (Exception: If you drive a Prius or a Subaru, you’re not required to use any additional stickers, it’s already clear you’re a Lib’rul or worse.) Further stickers that are beloved by Berkeleyans: the COEXIST, the KPFA, and the Darwin Fish. If you have collected lots of political opinions over the decades, your car will slowly turn into this – a common sight on Berkeley parking lots. (Up in the hills, one bumper is still telling us to “END APARTHEID NOW”). There’s lots of lawn signs, murals, and signs in windows. Signs on bikes declaring “NO WAR FOR OIL – BIKE FOR PEACE”.

And then, there’s the “YOU’RE PERFECT” guy:

(Note the North Face fleece vest – the Berkeley uniform!)

Some see this annoying abundance of signage as a signal to fight back. My favorite meta-stickers adorn our neighbor’s Honda: “BRUSH YOUR TEETH, IT’S THE LAW” and “Vote YES on NO and NO on YES”. The most incendiary and controversial sign in Berkeley at the moment, however, must be this:

A Friend of the Earth

I totally understand that our friends, the rats, are beginning to feel cold at this time of the year, and prefer our cozy roof to the outdoors which can be rather nippy at night. Our brothers and sisters, the rats, are basically squirrels with a tiny bit of fur missing on their tails. They are amazingly beautiful creatures, with strong social bonds and high intelligence; also, they have awesome whiskers. Like us, they are children of Mother Earth, and we should aspire to living in harmony with them and their close-knit communities, treasuring their relationship to the natural environment, their age-old tribal traditions and their understanding of sun, moon and the seasons.

However, if those jerks don’t stop using the attic above our bedroom as their toilet-spot, I’M GOING UP THERE WITH A BASEBALL BAT, A MACHETE, A SAWED-OFF SHOTGUN, A CAN OF GASOLINE, A BLOW TORCH, A JAR OF NAPALM, AND A FUCKING AIR CARRIER FULL OF NUCLEAR-MISSILE-LADEN FIGHTER JETS TO SHOW THEM HOW CIVILIZATION WORKS!!!!!!

P.S. Happy Caps Lock Day!

Dirty hippies not beneath stealing cheap toys from disadvantaged kids

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