Everything that’s wrong with this country in one Etsy item: LE BIBB Commuter Bib. It even has “a handy lapel pocket for your cell phone” – thank god, because driving while eating is not enough!
My Bookshelf- Class: A Guide Through the American Status System by Paul Fussell
- The Lone Ranger and Tonto Fistfight in Heaven by Sherman Alexie
- The Book: On the Taboo Against Knowing Who You Are by Alan Watts
- Plastic: A Toxic Love Story by Susan Freinkel
- Self-Made Man: One Woman's Year Disguised as a Man by Norah Vincent
- A Question of Attraction: A Novel by David Nicholls
- Cutting for Stone by Abraham Verghese
- Room: A Novel by Emma Donoghue
- The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo by Stieg Larsson
- Sea of Poppies by Amitav Ghosh
Choo chooooo!
30. December 2010 — cohuTheir rail system may not live up to European standards, but boy, Americans really are obsessed with trains. You know what causes this love? It’s not an extensive network, it’s not high speed, it’s not accurate timing, it’s not working A/Cs, it’s: Horns, or, to use the technical term, choo choooo! Listen to this Amtrak train passing trough Oakland on its way to or from Berkeley. We can hear them every day where we live. In fact, I can hear one right now!
There’s a whole genre of American music that consists of train imitation. Start out with this very simple, very skilfull example from 1926 - if you’re DeFord Bailey, you don’t need more than a harp:
Choo-choo and rhythm can be done in many different ways, here’s some of my favorites:
Johnny Cash’s Folsom Prison Blues is missing the Choo-choo, but it has great rhythm and gangsta lyrics to make up for that (“I shot a man in Reno / Just to watch him die”). Can you imagine this train stopping because there’s some ice or snow on the tracks? I don’t think so! Johnny Cash really Had a Thing About Trains, liked Riding The Rail, wanted you to Come Along And Ride This Train, whether it’s the Bible Train or the Orange Blossom Special (that one is a typical imitation including choo and rhythm) – and finished it up with the very sad Let The Train Blow Her Whistle.
I also like the Mystery Train:
Bob Dylan’s wonderful version of the Freight Train Blues:
And the Chattanooga Choo Choo:
Wikipedia offers this extensive (but not complete) list of train songs. It’s missing the only German train song that I can think of (maybe for the better)…the other one is of course a cover version of the aforementioned Chattanooga. The lack of train music is probably due to the fact that German trains don’t choo-chooo. Maybe the Deutsche Bahn should invest in some decent horns?
Busy with Americana
28. November 2010 — cohu
Dogs in Chinatown, for example. Also:
Cal cheerleaders and…
…some more cheerleaders in the U.S. Congress.
I sure as fuck do roll on Shabbos, though not very skillfully! Our next stop is one of the most remote parts of the US:
View Larger Map
Rumors have it they don’t even have a Starbucks there…but, alas, two lawyers and Paris Hilton.
Head of The State
15. November 2010 — cohuIn honor of my upcoming visit to Warshingten (that’s how they pronounce it on NPR!), here’s a West Coast original:
hard in the paint: To approach a problem, obstacle, or challenge with supreme confidence of success through a commitment to use all facilities available to one’s self to achieve a goal. The term has etymological roots in the basketball parlance that describes an attempt to score in the crowded and highly contested area directly under and immediately adjacent to the raised hoop on a basketball court, or “painted” area. Shot attempts in this area are traditionally only successful when made with a strong conviction to score, skill, overpowering strength, or a combination thereof (i.d. “going hard”). (Urban Dictionary)
Cue the East Coast copy:
Both definitely NSFW and possibly offensive. Context. More context.
Ask and tell
19. October 2010 — cohu
Sfgate reports that “The military is accepting openly gay recruits for the first time in the nation’s history.” The perfect excuse for posting this cute picture of innocent male bonding I took during Fleet Week. Speaking of which – how does the military prove that someone is gay? The “Explainer” explains that:
“Technically, the military doesn’t fire people for being gay—it fires them for engaging in “homosexual conduct.” This comprises: touching a member of the same sex for sexual gratification (including handholding or hugging), marrying someone of the same sex, or announcing that you’re gay.” (Slate.com)
Holding hands for sexual gratification! – this country is full of depraved sex practices we Europeans would never dream of. Anyway, the military’s gaydar was apparently re-calibrated at some point during the last three decades. How else would you explain the Navy’s official friendly cooperation in the production of this video in 1978:
Californian Girls
10. October 2010 — cohu
Italian Heritage Parade on Columbus Day, San Francisco. And look at those smiles:
Workplaces
31. August 2010 — cohuPOTUS has redesigned his workplace (or rather, has had his workplace redesigned. I hope). The intrepidly tepid collection of beiges, taupes and tentative nicotine-stain-yellows is a new benchmark for blandness, on level with Holiday Inn lobbies and snowbird living rooms. Fitting for a man who tries so hard not to offend anyone (successfully so – he’s the only American alive who doesn’t offend Germans). For a historical comparison, behold the office styles of previous presidents. I like the Ford one. Only Clinton could get away with this.
By the way, this is my new workplace:
Sadly, I neither have a carpet nor a seal I could display on it. On the plus side, our new sofa will not be beige, taupe, cream or sand.
P.S. Did you know the famous Resolute desk has a secret door?
This might be my favorite news headline yet.
31. August 2010 — cohuGood moooooooornin’ captain
30. June 2010 — cohuDas amerikanische Maultier bzw. seinen Treiber – den mule skinner – hat Jimmie Rodgers 1930 in seinem Blue Yodel No. 8 (Mule Skinner Blues) unsterblich gemacht. Das Lied wurde unzählige Male neu interpretiert – etwa in der psychedelisch-hysterischen Version der Fendermen:
…oder der braven von Dolly Parton:
Wie es nicht anders zu erwarten war, gehört Amerika maultiermäßig zur absoluten Weltspitze. Die amerikanische Maultierindustrie (traditionell in Tennessee ansässig), hat über die Jahrhunderte Hochleistungshybriden hervorgebracht, die nicht nur in der Landwirtschaft, sondern auch in den Weltkriegen eine wichtige Rolle spielten. Aber Obacht: Das sind keine normalen Maultiere, sondern quasi bessere Pferde, die neben Spring- und Dressurpipipfax eben auch mal 150 Kilo tragen können, wenn’s denn sein muss. Diese amerikanischen Wundergeschöpfe waren sogar noch spät im 20. Jahrhundert ein Exportschlager:
“As part of U. S. aid to the mujahideen in the late-1980s, approximately 2,000 Tennessee mules were shipped to Afghanistan. ” (Got Mules? A celebration of Mules in Tennessee History, Tennessee State Library and Archives)
Glaubt man Susan Orlean, dann war diese Aktion allerdings ein ziemlicher Schmarrn: am Bestimmungsort angekommen, verkümmerten die Monstermaultiere nach und nach, weil man nicht das richtige Kraftfutter für sie fand; und außerdem waren die dortigen Packtierzuständigen mit den tennesseeanischen Riesen total überfordert. Der typische Packesel im Mittleren Osten ernährt sich nämlich von Zwiebelschalen, Zeitungspapier und Plastiktüten. Und sieht dementsprechend aus:
Kein kräftiges Maultier weit und breit – kein Wunder, dass das nix wird da drunten. Aber vielleicht kann hier die Technik Abhilfe schaffen:
Zugegeben: das Vieh passt nicht ganz zum altmodischen Maultierjodler. Eventuell könnte ja Lady Gaga mal einen passenden Soundtrack für die Robo-Mules des neuen Jahrtausends rausbringen…
